


The Jugdral Advertising Station

by suicccune



Category: Fire Emblem Series, Fire Emblem: Seisen no Keifu | Fire Emblem: Genealogy of the Holy War, Fire Emblem: Thracia 776
Genre: Chapter 1 is safe for all ages, Crack, F/M, Gen, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Suggestive Themes
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-10-04
Updated: 2019-10-05
Packaged: 2020-11-23 13:51:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 418
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20893151
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/suicccune/pseuds/suicccune
Summary: What if the continent of Jugdral had ads like out modern society? This strange little crackfic explores that possibility. Rated M because we know what some ads are for.





	1. Mountain Dew

The sun peeked just barely from behind the cold and unforgiving fog, one which crowded the Silessian mountaintop where a figure seemed to be crawling along, helplessly.

The camera zooms in on this figure to reveal a young-looking boy with blonde hair, echausted from his long and perilous journey.

At the very moment he approaches the peak, he collapses, beads of sweat emitting from his temple. He had made it to his goal, yet one concern remains. How could he get down?

Is all hope gone for our poor hiker?

"Not quite!" Exclaimed a voice, and a cloud descending from the heavens itself carried with it a green haired man with a cozy looking scarf, a man obviously suited to his climate.

"What you need, Dew, is some fresh Mountain Dew Energy Drink!"

The man handed a bottle to the boy.

The boy, Dew, weakly sipped the liquid, and suddenly sprung up, full of life!

"Wow, thank you random salesman who somehow knows my name! I feel like...I could fly!"

And with that, Dew lept. Nobody knows what became of him.

The man then turned to face the audience.

"Purchase Mountain Dew at your local grocer now!"

[Note: Mountain Dew products will not make you randomly leap from high places.]


	2. Crusader

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Here is the chapter that made me put an M rating on...

A candle is lit, illuminating the dim room with its soft hues. It was a pretty nice room; A large bed meant for two, a few paintings upon the walls. Bad paintings, actually. They look like a young child made them.

Speaking of the bed, two figures kissed gently upon it. One was a rather built blue haired man, and the other a woman with long lilac hair. They embraced one another, seeming to be nude, yet the blanket covering them kept that from sight.

"Sigurd," The woman began, "you have protection, don't you?"

"...About that, Deirdre..." The man began to nervously grin.

Suddenly, the door burst open, catching them by surprise. A child- no, MANY children- ran in, each with their own need or complaint. The strangest thing, they were all identical!

"DAAAAD. I want a cupcake!" The first one began.

"Seliph, I'm a bit preoccupied-"

"I WANT ONE TOO"  
"SO DO I"  
"ME THREE"

Sigurd weakly slumped his head against the bedframe, sighing. Why was this his life?

Suddenly, an unidentified voice began to speak from the ceiling.

"This wouldn't have happened if you had used Crusader! Keeps you close, without the nine month hassle."

[CRUSADER products are not exclusive to those with Crusader lineage.]


End file.
